How could I help a non-Mormon spouse to feel like a member of my ward family when he is not a member of my church. The day could come where she has to decide between her relationship with you and her church.
I'm quite willing to take you at your word, but my guess is that academia had nothing to do with your ex being immature.
This is my first and tamber attempt to write on a forum for relationship advice. If you marry her, you're marrying into a video, a mild cult as far as cults go, but a cult nonetheless.